Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
