I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I supernannyed him into submission
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize