So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
