Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
