are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
