i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
