TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
