Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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