You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Green mimosas i think yes
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Randomize
