I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
