The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
you win again, gameday.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
