things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
