yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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