Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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