U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
how drunk are you?
Several
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
