Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize