We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
