Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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