Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
