fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
