Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
