my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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