I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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