dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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