i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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