Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
As shirtless as possible
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize