I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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