There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
