I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The dick lei will go down in squad history
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
