You just made me feel so damn special
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
