I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
