Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
organizing the empties. That sober.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
