so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
