turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
is that a dick in a sweater?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
