She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize