ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Please don't give away my fajitas
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
