Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
