I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
