If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
