Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
