Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
