He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
