are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Randomize
