tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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