the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
