i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
