If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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