Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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