plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
