fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
