South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
