i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
