atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
