Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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