It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
