We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
