Redeem this text for a blowjob
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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