Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
