..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
