i just wanna soil my oats bro
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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