im six kinds of drunk right now
I wish i was in the wii world.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I had to cum in my sink.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
