how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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