grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
