honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
