she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
