Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
