I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I want a musical about memes.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
